Have you been struggling with accepting change? Feel like you just can’t let things go? Then don’t let the past bring you down any more!
Talking with hundreds of clients over my 25+ years in practice as a registered psychologist, I have been amazed at how quickly the very foundations of a person’s life can shift and change forever.
Changes such as relationship breakdowns, medical crisis issues (particularly a cancer diagnosis), job losses and business upheaval, can cause enormous shock and emotional drain for the individual. It is not always easy to adapt to these changes, so if you have decided that you don’t want the past to bring you down anymore, read on!
Fortunately one of the most rewarding parts of my work is coaching clients through the process of healthily “letting go” of the past. It is only by doing this, that individuals are then able to open up to the possibility of learning and growing through the furnace of adversity.
You Are Not Alone
At some stage, we all face major upheaval in our lives; how do we move through it so that we are not caught in depression about what was or might have been?
These quotes from some high profile figures reveal how they were able to focus their minds on learning from the past:
- “It is fine to celebrate the lessons of success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure” – Bill Gates
- “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success” – Dale Carnegie
- “I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized. Nevertheless I was still alive, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life” – JK Rowling
If you are seeking to build a new life, and find contentment or even happiness in the here and now, here are some of the “mind shifts” that I can help you with:
- To “let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
- To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it is the realisation I can’t control another.
- To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
- To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.
- To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
If the past has been bringing you down, please take the time to see a psychologist sooner rather than later, because the longer we hold on to unnecessary baggage, the heavier it gets. The freedom of choosing to take this weight off your shoulder is exhilarating!
I find it thoroughly rewarding to work with people like you, to help them better engage the capacity to “let go” amidst the challenges of changes and the curve balls life can throw at you.
Author: Peter Doyle, B Psych (Hons), MAPS, MCCOUNP, MCOP.
Peter is endorsed both as a Counselling Psychologist and Organisational Psychologist and has over 25 years’ experience in clinical, counselling and workplace settings, helping clients with a diverse range of personal, lifestyle and psychological wellbeing issues.
Peter is currently not practicing at M1 Psychology, find his details on his website: Guidelight Psychology.